The month of January has been difficult. It honestly feels like a continuum of my last 3 months of 2017. I have what is called Endometriosis. To learn more, check out this website, https://www.endofound.org/endometriosis. I was diagnosed about 5 yrs ago, which I only found out after having a Laparoscopy. The doctor cleared adhesions and my menstrual cycles have been pretty normal. Fast forward: After my wedding in October 2017, I started having horrible symptoms with my cycles, including, extreme pain during and even after my cycle and fever. My wife strongly urged me to go to the doctor, which I did, 2 months later in December. I found out that I had 17 cm cyst (about the size of a melon) on my left ovary. I learned that it needed to be removed and that I would most likely lose my left ovary and tube. I was devastated. I cried in the office, one because having a child using my own womb was slowly slipping through my fingers and because my mom had just had a heart attack and I was still reeling from that.
Fast forward, a week, I called to inquire about the CA-125 blood test; it checks for possible ovarian cancer. The test is not definitive but it can help pinpoint some problems. The nurse called me back to tell me that my levels was elevated and that I would be referred to an ob/gyn oncologist. I did my best to not give in to scary thoughts and after reading, I learned that scores can be elevated because of endometriosis.
I met with my ob/gyn oncologist and she was very straightforward but reassuring. She was highly confident that the numbers were high because of the endometriosis but we did go over a plan if cancer was detected during the surgery. Thankfully, my best friend was there to ask the questions that I didn’t remember to. The surgery was scheduled and was excited to not be in daily pain. SN: That cyst hurt like HELL, errrrrryday.
The day came, surgery was performed. Left ovary and tube was removed and no sight of cancer. I was sad about losing a part of me but I was happy to be out of pain but the sad news that I received was that the endometriosis was worse than the doctor expected. Adhesions were pretty much everywhere. My colon was stuck to other parts of my body. My right ovary and tube were also covered in adhesions. The adhesions were so bad that now I have a deviated uterus, which means that it is no longer in the center but it’s to the right of my body. The saddest news that I heard, as I am waking up is that the endometriosis is bad enough that an ovarian cyst is likely to return and the only real way to deal with endometriosis and the cysts, when that time comes, is to get a hysterectomy. That took me down, all the way. I had no set time but the wife and I had begun to have conversations about having a little one, with myself being the carrier. To have those dreams dash, took me to a very dark place and to add the cover to the already darkness, I contracted the flu. I was devastated and also quarantined from family and friends. It was a lonely time.
As I am writing this, I can say that I’ve come out of the darkness. I am learning that I have a new reality. It’s sad and I have the right and need to grieve. My goal for any of my posts is to always be able to be a voice to someone who’s going through something similar, to let them know that they are not alone in their feelings.
2018 started rough but it didn’t kill me. Thank you to all of my friends and family who allowed me to cry to them, who encouraged me, who prayed for me. Your love and enduring friendship has help sustain me through this trying time.