Heyyyy!!!! We’ve made it another week!! That’s enough for a dance break or maybe even a cupcake!! So, I’ve just finished washing Luke Cage!! Sweet Christmas, He is FIONE!!! As I have been with the …
We’ve made it another week!! That’s enough for a dance break or maybe even a cupcake!! So, I’ve just finished washing Luke Cage!! Sweet Christmas, He is FIONE!!! As I have been with the previous Netflix Marvel’s Series Jessica Jones and Daredevil, I was delightfully pleased. I saw a theme throughout the movie that I thought would be a great topic for Wellness Wednesday. So, before I go on, for the ones who haven’t binged watched it, the rest of my post will include plot points about the series.
So, from the first episode was talk of Diamondback and you come to find out that he is the main protagonist and Luke Cage’s half-brother. Within moments of that revelation, you hear tinges of jealousy and feelings of not being enough. No matter what Luke says or how he tries to assuage the situation, he is not able to get through to Diamondback. At first, I was like, Diamondback could not have done all of these things to Luke (FIONE-self) because he felt like he was treated less than his brother. Then, my brain began to work the psychology of fatherless children.
I got to reading articles of traits of fatherless men and they all had similar traits. Here’s a discussion of a few of the traits.
There is insecurity and/or a sense of inferiority because of neglect, lack of affirmation, or abandonment.Diamondback seemed to resent his father for not giving him the Lucas last name and felt as if he was never good enough because of it. Even when both brothers got in trouble, he didn’t feel that he was protected as Luke was. He was angry that his father seemingly neglected his mother after he was sent away.
There is a great competitive drive due to comparisons with other men. Hmm, Let’s see, he put his brother in jail only to have his brother get super juiced, escape and become Harlem’s hero. So, in comparison, he becomes a feared bad man and creates instruments of warfare that are horrendous. When it came to the illegal dealings, he had no problems of killing major players without a flinch.
Having an autocratic style of leadership in one’s churches, businesses and families. Diamondback gets an A+++ on this subject. Either his minions were scared of him or were scheming to get rid of him. He seemed to not have a stable mindset which made his actions very sporadic. He would quote the bible but use the bible verses to somehow justify his actions. I also saw that as a slight to his father, for preaching in the pulpit but being unfaithful to his wife and I’m sure to Diamondback’s mother.
Growing without a father, either because of the father making a choice not to do so or death, can be hard experience. That doesn’t mean every fatherless man chooses the same path as Diamondback. This following article gives guidelines on things to not say to sons who grow up with out his father: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/06/wes-moore-fatherless-sons-boy-father_n_3211254.html .
I would love to know what you thought of this article.
Until Next Time,
If you have a stomach ache, it is common knowledge that people will tell you to take a Tum or drink Pepto Bismal.
If you have a headache, people may ask if you have been eating too much salty food and tell you to take a pain pill.
You get diagnosed with Diabetes and the doctor wants to start you on an Insulin regime and get some of that weight off of your frame.
You have a panic attack back to back in a matter of two weeks and most likely (unfortunately) the response may be, “Let Go and Let God.”
This is a problem in the African American community.
Let me start off by saying that I love the Lord because he heard my cry **inserts bless up hands emoji** but our mental health is just as and sometimes more important than our physical health. If we as a community don’t see the importance of being mentally healthy, I feel we continue to repeat ourselves. Life is hard. Living life on life’s term can sometimes feel unbearable. I see so much strength in people who can admit that they have mental health issues and are actively seeking help for it.
I ponder on the reasons on why as African Americans, we deny having mental health problems. Is it because they don’t want to be described as being weak or crazy? Is it because they feel that they have so much else going on that admitting to having anxiety or depression seems like an excuse?
The reason I wanted to start a series, Wellness Wednesdays, on my blog was to emphasize the need for self care and shed light on Mental Health. I had planned for a different topic today but reading about Kid Cudi http://www.usatoday.com/story/life/people/2016/10/05/kid-cudi-facebook-rehab-depression-anxiety-suicidal-urges/91588300/ made me feel like this was the right time to discuss this topic.
I have mentioned this before in my blog post but I suffer from anxiety. It has robbed me of years of happiness having replaced it with incessant worry and self doubt. I am learning to cope with it and I do use medication to help. I am not ashamed of it, just like I am not ashamed to take pills for high blood pressure, my breast cancer, and iron deficiency. I am better because I have come to grips with it. I am happier because I have accepted me for me and I work daily on me.
Take care of your mental health like you take care of that stomach ache. Don’t ignore it.
Listed below are resources:
Until Next Time,
It’s Wednesday!!! I hope you all are having a splendid day!! For this week’s edition of Wellness Wednesday and for the fact that it is breast cancer awareness month, I thought it would be a good idea to talk about my TATAs. How fun is that? Every time that I have shared about my breast cancer, I get a new person who learns this fact about me. Here’s my first blog talking about (https://radical7even.wordpress.com/2014/03/23/see-what-had-happened-was-danielle/).
I was diagnosed at 28 with breast cancer. I was actually called with the diagnosis(how is that for bedside manner.) I can still remember it, I was in the library in Brent with my Personal Care Client and I got the call that the lump in my breast was cancerous. A lump I had had more than 5 years. I would feel it and be like, ‘Yep, I’m too young to have cancer.” In those moments, I saw what I didn’t accomplish…me not being married…no kids..no house. I cried hard, real hard. I thought my life was over but actually it was just beginning. My family and friends rallied around me. I completed my radiation treatments and all my mammograms and blood work have shown that I am in remission. My right tata is a little shorter and darker but for all intent and purposes, it is still in working order.
I don’t like going to the doctor. I think it started when I was younger because I would go and they would harp on me being overweight which I didn’t like myself but you telling me I’m overweight helps nothing. As an adult, I dislike because I pay $35 copays and they make you wait and within 5 minutes, they are trying to shuffle you out the door. Even still, Now I do my best to never again let any abnormalities in my body linger. I do view my body as a temple so I have to do my very best to keep it as healthy as possible.
In regard to breast cancer awareness month, do monthly breast exams on yourself.
If breast cancer runs in the family, you may want to discuss with your doctor about early testing.
For more information, Please check out this following websites:
How you doing?? I know it has been a minute since I’ve blogged and I hope you have missed me as much as I have missed you. I wanted to start a conversation on mental health. In July, I had the opportunity to go and present at the Inaugural Minority Mental Health Awareness Summit (www.valenrich.com) which is Minority Mental Health Month. I was able to network with local and national representatives of different facets of the mental health community.
I wanted to start this series with my own personal issues. You know, it ain’t no party like an anxiety party. I always remember having anxiety. I can remember crying in first grade because I was scared somebody would hurt my little sister; she was fine by the way, always fearless in my eyes. It is something that for the longest time I thought was just going to be a normal part of my life. A couple of years ago, I have actively worked on conquering it. There are some days where I feel that I have it under control. I say my daily affirmations. I do deep breathing. I practice healthy self care. Other days, the only thing that I feel that gets me up is the fact that If I get the 8 hours of work over with, I can hop back in my bed and be one with Netflix. It is my goal to be to have a more balanced life, which for me, includes my emotional health. I have done better of not always faking it, telling my inner circle when I need support and knowing when I need to just unplug.
With this series, I hope to bring more awareness to mental health issues, local and national resources, and healthy coping skills.
With this, I hope your Wednesday is great and stress free.
Until Next Time,
Sooo, I am a country girl. What that means for me is that I love to walk bare-footed. Oooh, I love to go without shoes. The downside to that is the fact that I can sometimes have rough feet if I don’t do anything to keep them smooth. This is also the seasons for warm weather so my feet is seeing more sunlight and views from the public. So, what can I do to get summer ready for my feet. Insert Pinterest. I saw this post where it showed how you could get soft feet with relatively simple ingredients. I am all down for the simple. The question stands though: Does it really work?
I didn’t take any before or after pictures of my feet because honestly my feet didn’t look bad to the eye but didn’t feel smooth to the touch. However, I will share with you my steps.
1.I bought a pair of socks and generic brand vapor rub from Dollar Tree. It wasn’t on the ingredient list but I decided to buy a pumice stone to rub away this dry skin.
2.I would lather the vapor rub, quite generously, on both feet and then put the socks on my feet before bed time. For the most post I would keep the socks on all night but it is May with technically no spring so sometimes the socks found themselves kicked out of the bed.
3.The next morning, after showering I would dry off my feet and rub pretty vigorously with the pumice stone, inside my feet and around my heel area.
4.I would then lotion my feet up with Vaseline Intensive Moisture Cocoa Butter lotion.
I did this on average for 5 days in a week.
Did I have smooth feet like a newborn baby? No. I do feel that they do feel smoother than when I first started this process. I think the pumice stone did help get the dead skin off. I am not sure how this would work without having something to scrap off the dead skin.
So, another Pinterest experiment completed.
What works to get your feet summer ready?
Let me hear from you.
Until Next Time,
I am trying to be more consistent with my blogging so I decided a perfect time to discuss an issue that seems to be a daily occurrence in my life.
That quote so simply put in to words my life most days.
I can not remember not having anxiety. Like ever. One of my earliest memories is me being in first grade crying my eyes out because my sister is starting Kindergarten and I worried about others being mean to her. It haunts me. It’s not too many days that I don’t have some sort of anxiety. Am I doing good job? Will I ever get out of debt? Why is my car making that noise? The best way I know how to explain is that it would be easier for you to tell me to stop breathing than to stop worrying.
Some days are better than others. For me, the thing about anxiety is that I know how to stop it. Just stop worrying and give all of my cares to God. Even as typing that, I felt a sense of peace in that but it’s not long lasting. Why? Because I poke hole in every scenario. I think about the 1,000,0000 ways that it will go wrong. When someone talks about the problems, I genuinely give them positive advice and encouragement because I truly believe that God is working it out in their favor but when it comes to myself, I don’t have that same kind of confidence.
For me, my anxiety is lessened when I am able to focus on what I like to do and less about what I feel I must do. I feel that if I could get those two to be the same thing, I would be a happier person. I’ve decided to take an active step to help with my anxiety. It seems to be have positive results. I plan to get back active and learning more coping skills.
Does anxiety give you the blues? What do you do to coping with day to day life?
Have a Great Weekend,
My best friend has, like always given me the push when and where it’s needed. I haven’t been blogging, like I needed or wanted to. I have been feeling a little lack luster about my work life and I was reminded that I am more than a title, more than a job. I am Danielle, a person who is coming to her own, learning what she likes and doesn’t like and how much she is worth. To celebrate this hiatus, I decided to share a recent diy gift I did for one of my lovely girlfriends.
Sister Gifts — I am part of a lovely sisterhood. We support, pray, and love on each other. We decided this year to do sister gifts. We each have a partner, or 2. My soulsister, she lives by the beach so I decided to create her a seashell gift.
1. I got this lovely wreath from Dollar Tree for 1 Dolla!
2. I got these lovely seashells packets for $1 each, also from Dollar Tree.
3. I spray painted the wreath seafroam green. **The Spraypaint kinda melted the wreath, not a lot but it kinda made little holes. Next time, I will see if I can find spray paint that for plastics.
4. Here’s the Completed Wreath. I Superglued the shells to the wreath, no certain patterns. When I got done, I decidedly to haphazardly spray gold paint on it.
What do you Think? Have you done any diy projects lately?
Until Next Time,
Sooo… I like vacations and I like dressing up and when I get to both, it is a win-win. I was able to attend my family reunion, July 10-12. I wanted to do a quick post to share my outfits.
First off, my cover-up. It is thrifted, of course. I got it from the American thrift store from Prattville, AL. It was..drum-roll please…$2.
I got this coral beauty from Wal-Mart for under $10.
I enjoyed my family and was able to get spiritually renewed. I was able to get some confirmation on my purpose. Life should be lived not tolerated.
Fashion should be fun. No one should tell a person what they should or should not wear. This biggest lesson I have learned so far in life is to love myself. I may not be the world’s definition of beautiful but I’ll be damned if you try to tell me I am not. I am beautiful, flaws and all.
You are beautiful. Celebrate your beauty. Daily.
Until Next Time,
My Best Friend values my opinions. I feel honored that she trusts me to help her look good. She sent me this picture of these gorgeoius skirts from THEAFRICANSHOP (an etsy store).
They are gorgeous skirts but we are trying to ball on a budget. So, I told her that I would look around and if I found one, I would get it for her. Lo and behold , I was told by my mom that the local Maxway ( http://www.vwstores.com/) had all types of skirts and dreses. It piqued my interest. I went in and there were long dresses, short dress, long skirts, short skirts, one color, multicolors. I went in and found her two possible options and sent them to my best friend. Before she can tell me which one she prefers, her first statement, “Cute but I so need help with a top.” She act like I don’t know her…lol.
I am in love with these vibrant skirts and I feel you have real fun with them, wear with flats, wear with heels. You can make it work for work or for pleasure. I also feel that the skirt should be the main attraction. As far as a top and accessories, simple is the name of the game. I would pull any one of the colors from the skirt for a top, simple tank top or tee.
Another alternative would be a denim shirt or vest.
Here are some other cute alternatives.
I hope to have given Renee some ideas on how to wear her skirt and I hope to be able to do an update to this post to show you how I helped her style it.
Until next time,