Tag: Self-care

Doubting Self

Doubting Self

self doubt

 

Hey Hey!!

Life has been happening and I haven’t been blogging about it. For that, I apologize but I am here, right now. At least for the moment. This subject has been rolling around in my mouth and my head for a couple of weeks. I finally had to make myself sit down and put this in black and white. The subject is self-doubt. It has been a major thorn in my side, as of late. It has been professionally mostly but it has started to bleed into my personal life. I try my best to be as transparent when I struggle with certain issues. It is always my hope that someone can find help in what I am saying or even share similar experiences. I have narrowed down 3 personal root causes for my self-doubt.

 

  1. What I say to myself. What I say to myself is so much worse than any words that an enemy could stream together. I have to literally talk to myself on a daily basis, reminding myself how awesome I am, how much hard work I do. I say this, not to sound prideful but I realize that I can be really judgmental of myself. I use to critique myself constantly. “Did I laugh too loud?” Was that joke inappropriate?” “Can people tell that I don’t know what the heck I’m doing?” I also have the hardest time validating my accomplishments. If you were to look at my life, in the natural, I am not supposed to have gained the success that I have. When I am reminded of the great successes I have attained, I sometimes feel like it is a fluke and maybe luck made it happen, instead of my faith, hard work, and determination.

 

  1. Seeking approval of other’s opinions. This has shown up more in my professional life. I think I’ve shared in a past blog post, that I was promoted to a position about a year ago. It is a position in which I work closely with my supervisor and I have people in positions under me. I am also understanding of all the pressure that my supervisor has on her. I do my best to be proactive and to lighten her load, when and where I see fit. I take my position seriously and have taken the lead on things, either to see my involvement down played or not given the due  responsibility I feel I’ve earned. I’ve tried hard not to become bitter or pander to it but I am also a recovering people pleaser. I want people to notice how hard I’ve work or the extra hours I’ve put in to make something a success but when all I hear is crickets, I’ve taken it personally.

 

  1. Allowing myself to engage in behavior that is unbecoming of myself. People get on my nerves. Not everybody, but a few people really grinds my gears (Peter Griffin Voice). They do things that I perceive are malicious and if given the opportunity could add blemishes to my work reputation. I have friends outside of my work that I vent to but sometimes I make the grave mistake of talking to untrustworthy coworkers. I know, I know. I am just breaking codes, left and right. I have found out that these people are not to be trusted. They are the truest forms of instigators. They get a bone and they will run it down to hell. I know who they are and I know that what their potential of destruction is. I have to stay true to myself and not engage in this behavior. It leaves a nasty feeling on my spirit that never bodes well.

 

It felt good being able to record these thoughts that has been whirling. I am doing my best daily to not beat up on myself and I realize that every day is a new day to begin again.

How do you deal with self doubt? Negative situations at work?

Until Next Time,

DaniGee

Sorry, NOT Sorry

Sorry, NOT Sorry

The older I get, the more things I notice about myself and others. I notice that I say,’ ‘I’m Sorry’ A LOT; Almost as a greeting.  Examples: excuse the background, or excuse the stuff on my front seat or apologize for an autocorrect error (Darn Autocorrect).  I’ve noticed that when people get in my car, unless you the bestie, I usually preface the entering of my car by saying, “Excuse the mess.”

There has been  times recently when I apologize for things I shouldn’t be apologizing for. For the last couple of years, I’m usually the youngest employee at whatever company I’m currently working for. I do my best to be a helpful and dependable team member. This usually gets noticed by the higher ups. Recently, that has led to a promotion. With the promotion came more responsibilities and having a leadership role over others. I have mentioned in a previous blog post that sometimes being young can lead others to test boundaries with me, which in turn has led me to test boundaries of my own 😉 During this time, I found when myself apologizing for how people were perceiving the words that came out of my mouth. I had to take a step back and realize that I shouldn’t be apologizing for a statement or action if I know that the intent was not meant to be malicious. How tiring is it to make sure that every word you say doesn’t offend a person or rub them the wrong way??

I would have to take a perpetual vow of silence.

When I really started to analyze my frequency of apologizing, I began to wonder if this was more a women issue that men. I honestly don’t see men apologizing on a regular basis. Is it engrained in women, in general, to not want to upset anyone, to not make anyone mad???

I’ve seen some of my social media friends apologize or feel the need to explain any background or picture that is not perfect. Damn That. I am not perfect. My car is not detailed on a regular basis. My hair doesn’t always stand up Kid’N Play-ish like I would prefer all the time.

I am imperfect. Like it or stroll on. I am in love with who I’m becoming which mean I have to be okay with what’s real. Trying to be perfect is an illusion and damn tiring.

How often do you apologize in a day??

Growing, Stretching, Day by Day.

 

Until Next Time,

 

DaniGee

Culture of Work *Wellness Wed.*

Happy Spring! I feel joyful every time I see the grass becoming a little bit greener, the birds chirping a little bit louder, and the day lasting a little bit longer.

I am happy that I have a great group of friends that I can vent to when things feel a little bit overwhelming with work and/or personal issues. I’ve been doing that more when it comes to work issues. I was recently promoted and with that came more responsibility. With that being said,

I HATE CONFLICT.

If anyone knows me personally, they know that I am a laid back, don’t bother anyone, wants everyone to laugh and have a good time. I try to be genuine in all aspects of my life. How you meet me is pretty much how you will always see, well, except I’ll probably become louder the more comfortable I get around you. This demeanor is the same that I try to bring into the workplace. I understand that we spend a great deal around people who we may not have chosen but we are in a place where we have to all work for a certain mission. Why make it more difficult that it has to be?

I’ve encountered issues that I extremely dislike within this new position: conflict, passive aggressiveness, and feeling the need to be on the defensiveness. The majority of the time when conflict arises at work, my initial thought is this:

Image result for my man got two jobs meme

Even though I have no man and no 2 jobs. However it makes me feel good to say it.

I usually hopes it goes away on its own but this issue wasn’t. It was actually getting worse. I had a person who honestly wasn’t seeing me as a person with any authority or any say so on the day to day operations. I never wanted to come across as being anything more than a source of information. I realized with this situation, I could not ignore, it had to be addressed directly.

That scared the mess out of me. I would have to be confrontational, direct. I would surely burst into flames. I didn’t. The meeting went a little better than I thought and more importantly I was proud of myself for not being passive and allowing things to build up to the point of no return.

Self-care is important in all areas of your life. It is important to be speak up for yourself and don’t let kindness be a weakness.

Have you ever had conflict at work? Were you able to handle it in a way that didn’t compromise your integrity and/or your morals?

Until Next Time,

DaniGee

Pinterest Experiment, Take 1

Sooo, I am a country girl. What that means for me is that I love to walk bare-footed. Oooh, I love to go without shoes. The downside to that is the fact that I can sometimes have rough feet if I don’t do anything to keep them smooth. This is also the seasons for warm weather so my feet is seeing more sunlight and views from the public. So, what can I do to get summer ready for my feet. Insert Pinterest. I saw this post where it showed how you could get soft feet with relatively simple ingredients. I am all down for the simple. The question stands though: Does it really work?

vapor rub

 

I didn’t take any before or after pictures of my feet because honestly my feet didn’t look bad to the eye but didn’t feel smooth to the touch. However, I will share with you my steps.

1.I bought a pair of socks and generic brand vapor rub from Dollar Tree. It wasn’t on the ingredient list but I decided to buy a pumice stone to rub away this dry skin.

2.I would lather the vapor rub, quite generously, on both feet and then put the socks on my feet before bed time. For the most post I would keep the socks on all night but it is May with technically no spring so sometimes the socks found themselves kicked out of the bed.

3.The next morning, after showering I would dry off my feet and rub pretty vigorously with the pumice stone, inside my feet and around my heel area.

4.I would then lotion my feet up with Vaseline Intensive Moisture Cocoa Butter lotion.

I did this on average for 5 days in a week.

Final Thoughts:

Did I have smooth feet like a newborn baby? No.  I do feel that they do feel smoother than when I first started this process. I think the pumice stone did help get the dead skin off. I am not sure how this would work without having something to scrap off the dead skin.

 

So, another Pinterest experiment completed.

 

What works to get your feet summer ready?

 

Let me hear from you.

 

Until Next Time,

 

DaniGee